Yesterday was both a good day and a bad one. I spent it with my amazing boyfriend, Eric (you'll probably hear a lot about him in later posts), and it was special because it was my last day seeing him before going on vacation next week.
We saw Hercules (great movie!) and I avoided the temptations of concession food. I even massively downsized my McDonald's meal (no double quarter pounder with cheese and large Coke for me!), but by the end of the night, I completely and utterly lost my resolve. I had a ton of soda, which tastes kind of gross now, and an odd craving for a Rice Krispy bar. I didn't get a chance to track it all on My Fitness Pal, but I'm pretty sure I went over my 1800 allotted calories.
Do I feel guilty? I did, at first. But if this journey is going to work long term this time around, I can't freak out every time I make a mistake. There are going to be bad days. I have binge eating issues and that's something I clearly need to work on. But berating myself will only lower my self confidence and make me give in to all the stupid thoughts in my head screaming that I can't do it.
Which reminds me...today is my first 45 minute run. You know, the one that will probably actually be 3.1 agonizing miles? Ugh. I'm not in the mood. But I'll do it because I know it always makes me feel better, and will lower my anxiety about work later. I'll run when I can, walk when I must. And I'll get through it and be stronger for it.
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